


I think I need a new apartment...

by Melancholy_Incarnate



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Arachnophobia, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Strong Language, steve rogers to the rescue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-05-18 01:50:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14843307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melancholy_Incarnate/pseuds/Melancholy_Incarnate
Summary: Reader has a fear of spiders. When she finds a freaky one in her kitchen, she freaks out and runs out of the apartment. She goes to the nearest apartment and knocks, hoping to just ask someone to kill the spider and never think about this embarrassment again. Sadly, that isn't the case when her apartment turns out to be infested, ironically enough for her "savior", with black widow spiders.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LizardBumblebee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizardBumblebee/gifts).



> Heyo this is for LizardBumblebee my best fan thank you haha

You flung away the pan with a shriek. It clattered loudly to the floor, but you really didn't care about that just then. There was a swollen black spider nestled in it. You did  _not_  like spiders. Why did anything need that many eyes?! Too many eyes, too many legs- bleugh. So when you found that terrifying thing in your pan, naturally, you ran out of your apartment and across the hall to your neighbors' apartment, the only other occupants of the floor. They owned a full three-quarters of this floor. You owned the other 1/4. They could easily have bought you out of here, but they didn't so they were cool with you. You hastily knocked on the door. One of the two men living there opened it. 

"Um, hi, Mr. Rogers. I know we haven't talked much and I know you're probably really busy saving the world or something but there's a spider in my kitchen and I was hoping maybe you'd get rid of it for me? I'll pay you in grilled cheese..." you finished lamely. 

"Steve? Who's at the door?" called Mr. Barnes from somewhere you couldn't see.

"Our neighbor, Buck."

"Is it the cute one?"

"We only have one!" Mr. Rogers said exasperatedly. "How much grilled cheese are we talking here? One sandwich or two?" he joked.

You flushed. "As many as you want, as soon as the spider is out of my pan, Mr. Rogers." He laughed. 

You stepped out of the way to let him pass and stood in the hall next to the doorway as he stepped into your apartment. 

"SHIT!" came the yell from inside your home.

"You okay?! Did you find it?!" you asked when he came out. 

"Uh, yeah. I guess you could say that..."

"What? What is it?"

"That was a black widow spider and you have at least thirty more in your kitchen right now."

Your face paled.

"oh." You were silent for a full thirty seconds before saying "How am I going to make you grilled cheese now?"

Mr. Barnes and Mr. Rogers laughed. 

"Come inside. You can stay here until you can get an exterminator out here," Mr. Rogers said.

"How long until then, do you think?"

"Couple days, at least, probably," answered Buc- Mr. Barnes. Mr. Barnes. You weren't on nickname terms with superheroes. 

 _Well fuck me,_ you thought sourly.

"I'd prefer to get to know you better first, but whatever you want, doll," Mr. Barnes said, not even looking at you as he munched on an apple.

It took you longer than you'd like to admit to realize that you had said the words aloud. Ok, now you were  _definitely_ on a first name basis. Steve gaped at Bucky. 

"What the hell, dude?!"

"Shit, sorry," he said between peals of laughter. "I'm sorry, I really am-" he choked out. 

"If you could please call the exterminator, Bucky?" Steve asked pointedly.

"Ok, ok," he said, raising his hands in a placating gesture.

"I am so sorry. He has no filter sometimes."

"It's ok. I went to high school, nothing new." you joked. "But thanks for calling the exterminator." You turned to go back into your apartment.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to grab some clothes and essential items if I can't live in my house for a few days. Who knows how long it will take? Do you have any tote bags or something I could borrow?"

"Oh. Yeah, alright."

You couldn't use one of your own tote bags or a suitcases. Spiders like those kinds of areas to live in. No thank you. So you gathered up several outfits and toiletries and your important electronics, checking each for spiders, of course. Once you were as packed as you were like to get, you walked down the hall. Before you made it to the elevator, though, Steve stopped you. 

"Where are you going?"

"My car?"

"Why?"

"Because that's where I'll sleep for the next few days?"

_Isn't it obvious?_

"Hey!" Bucky said as he came back to the hall to report on the situation. "I have good news and bad news. Bad news is no exterminator in the city can come in for two weeks. Dealing with some  _big_ infestation downtown. Good news is that means you get to stay with us for two weeks!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all fun and games until someone gets kneed in the balls.

"I suppose I'm camping out on your couch for two weeks, then."

"No. We have a 'guest room'. It's usually for when one of the team stays with us, but you can take it," Steve informed.

"Oh, um. Thank you. Which room is it?"

"Door at the end of the hall," replied Bucky.

"Ok. Thank you. Do you have cheese, butter, and bread? I believe I owe you grilled cheese."

You went to put your stuff in the guest room and when you came back, the two looked very excited with the bread, cheese, butter, and a pan out. You grabbed a butter knife and some plates and a spatula and set to work. By the time you were finished, they had eaten an entire bag of bread worth of grilled cheeses. 

"Holy shit!" you exclaimed.

"Language," Steve said monotonously, but with a hint of a smile on his lips.

"I am  _deeply_ sorry, Mr. America, sir," you apologized dramatically. 

You grinned as you turned your back and began to wash the dishes. 

"So is this how I can pay the rent for my apartment? Stark bought the whole floor in your name so technically you own my apartment too which means I should be paying you rent. I make dinner every Friday and Tuesday night and that's how I pay?"

"Hell yes!" shouted Bucky.

"Hell yes  _please,_ " you corrected. You lifted your hand out of the soapy water to shake Steve's hand, sealing the deal.

"Hey," he said indignantly when he felt his hand get all slimy. You wiped both of your hands on his shirt. "hEY!"

Bucky watched the whole exchange with a smile, laughing at his best friend. You looked at him innocently as you put your hand behind your back into the sink and flicked it back out in an arc so you effectively dampened the entirety of Bucky's shirt and face. 

"Oh it is  _on!"_

You all were thoroughly soaked and in stitches by the time the water fight was over. It was impossible to accurately discern who had won, but all of you had lost. Soaked to the bone and breathless from laughter at how Barnes shook his hair out like a wet dog, you tried to walk out of the kitchen. The floor, being an unfortunate casualty in the water war, was slippery as all hell and, predictably, you fell. Bucky tried to catch you, but he, too, slipped and you ended up falling on him in a heap. Steve looked at the both of you with a carefully blank expression. 

"Karma," he said. Then he guffawed as you tried to stand but accidentally managed to knee Bucky in the crotch. He let out a high-pitched groan of pain. 

"Maybe he should invest in metal nuts," Steve said, wincing.

"Ohmygod I'm so sorry!" 

"It's all fun and games until someone gets kneed in the balls," your victim mumbled.

"Sorry! I'll make your favorite food tomorrow! Just- I'm sorry!"

"Lasagna," Steve supplied. "He likes lasagna."

"Ok. Well, um, goodnight. Sorry."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 52 kudos and counting! Thanks!

It was early in the morning when you were called into work. The NYPD clerk was polite, almost painfully so, to be honest, but he conveyed the utter importance of your fast arrival. There had been a sextuple murder last night. The seventh would-be victim was still critical but stabilizing. They needed their police sketch artist. You stood and had a quick shower, dressed, and grabbed your bag. Before you left, you wrote a note.

_Have all the materials ready for lasagna when I get back. I'll be back probably around two. Have a nice day!_

On the bottom, you wrote the recipe for lasagna you always used. Beside it you told them to get triple the amounts of everything. You added a smiley face just for good measure and opened the fridge to pour a small glass of apple juice. You had your glass on the counter and were about to pour when you saw that Bucky had slunk in and sat at the table while you were writing the note. Instinctively you knew this was not Bucky Barnes. This was the Winter Soldier. 

"Uhhhhh want some juice?" you asked lamely. Immediately after, you just spilled it everywhere. "fuck." Your eyes never left the soldier's for a second. "Captain?" you said as loudly as you dared, a frightened quaver in your voice as Bucky stood and slowly advanced on you. "Steve!"

Bucky said something in Russian. You had heard a few words in Russian from your old landlady but you only knew what two meant. Da was yes and nyet was no. What you shouted was neither of those. "Nalogovyye l'goty! Skloneniye! Sous!" You were just blurting out random Russian words hoping he would give up as you backed away, turning your back towards the hall so you could back into somebody's bedroom. You really seemed to be confusing him, which is understandable, because when one is intimidating someone it isn't exactly normal for them to yell "Tax benefits! Declension! Sauce!" back.

You fumbled backwards, trying to reach the doorknob to open Steve's door and smacked against the room's occupant when it abruptly opened. 

"Hey I heard you calling for me but I was in the shower, what's- oh no." He saw the empty look on Bucky's face. "Get in the bedroom and don't come out till I say it's safe," he ordered. "Lock the door. Barricade it if it comes to that. Go." His voice was soft but it carried authority. You instantly complied. 

Irrationally, your first thought was _"Well fuck, I'm not going to get to work when they need me there."_ It seemed such an arbitrary concern that you almost laughed. Almost.


End file.
